As a breastfeeding mom, have you faced failures or struggles that have been tough to get through? Keep reading to learn how I’ve managed to keep it together while overcoming personal breastfeeding challenges.
Breastfeeding is a hugely rewarding experience with a long list of benefits. But even though it’s supposed to be a natural process, it can come with its challenges. As a Pediatrician and lactation consultant, I’ve helped moms through a wide variety of struggles while breastfeeding. And as a mom of 5 breastfed kids myself, I have experienced many of these same issues and then some. Here, I’ll share with you my five different breastfeeding experiences and the lessons I’ve learned while overcoming personal breastfeeding challenges.
It’s okay to not know what you’re doing
I gave birth to my first child when I was 21 years old, finishing up my last year of my undergraduate degree. I was lucky enough to have mostly online classes then. But I still had 2 classes I needed to physically be in the classroom for. That meant extra time away from my daughter and less time for breastfeeding. Before I had her, the only breastfeeding exposure I’d really had was watching my sister-in-law breastfeed my niece who was born just a year earlier. But I realized that watching is a whole lot different than doing.
When my daughter was born, I didn’t know anything about positioning and latch or supply and demand. Luckily, we both got the hang of it quickly and if any struggles came, we just figured them out together. But, because I wasn’t comfortable feeding her in public, I supplemented her with formula whenever we were out. And even though I was away from her for class and sorority activities, I didn’t pump much. I relied a lot on formula and my supply tanked when she was about 6 months old.
Even still, I considered my first breastfeeding experience a success. I wasn’t hard on myself because I really didn’t have any breastfeeding goals set at that time. It was sort of something I just did because I knew it was the right thing to do. And my daughter’s still a healthy, brilliant 16-year-old today.
You can exclusively pump and still bond with your baby
My oldest son was born while I was finishing up my 3rd year of medical school. It was a busy time of clinical rotations, and lots of time spent in different areas of the hospital. When I was 20-weeks pregnant with him, I found out he had a heart defect called Transposition of the Great Arteries, which meant he needed open heart surgery soon after he was born. Luckily, I had an uneventful delivery and some skin-to-skin time with him before he was whisked away to the nearby Children’s Hospital for monitoring.
Having to stay at my birthing hospital without him was a huge blow to my emotions. But I had an excellent lactation consultant who got me pumping right away. It was the one thing I knew I could do for him, even if I couldn’t hold him, cuddle with him, and feed him. I was able to make up for the supply I was missing with my first daughter by pumping like crazy.
He couldn’t feed by mouth before and for a period after his surgery, so I was able to build up a stockpile of milk for him. And once he started feeding by mouth, I had to concentrate my breast milk in order to help him gain weight and recover. So that meant very little direct breastfeeding and still a whole lot of pumping! We were still able to bond with some breastfeeding, skin-to-skin, cuddling, and eye contact while bottle feeding. Plus, it felt good knowing that I was giving him the best nutrition he could get and helping him to grow and recover when I felt so helpless. Today, as a 12-year-old boy, we’ve got the best mommy-son bond I could ask for.
Some babies will be more demanding than others
Baby #3 was born during my 2nd year of my Pediatric Residency – probably one of the busiest times of my life. I was able to take a few weeks off with her and breastfed her the entire time. We fed on demand. I pumped for comfort, whenever she slept a little longer than expected. And I stored whatever milk I pumped in the freezer. I was a lot more confident with breastfeeding at this point. But then came time to go back to work.
Because she loved breastfeeding so much, this little one decided she wouldn’t take a bottle. Luckily, she was in the daycare at the hospital where I was working during my Residency. But it meant I needed to stop working and go down to feed her every 2-3 hours, whenever she was hungry. Her teachers tried everything, and we eventually found a bottle/nipple that she liked TWO WEEKS later!
As she got older, it became more difficult for my husband to put her to sleep when I was away on overnight calls at the hospital. When I was home with her in the evenings, I would nurse her and easily put her to bed. But, when my husband tried to put her to sleep with a bottle, she started to refuse it again, and she fought until she just tired herself out and went to sleep. I had to eventually stop nursing her right before bed to make things easier for my husband, and gradually weaned altogether around 13 months. She’s now 10 years-old and is still the most demanding and opinionated of all our kids!
Some babies will just go with the flow
After I graduated from my Pediatric Residency and started working at a private pediatric practice, I had my fourth child. She was born exactly on her due date, and I thought that meant she was going to be just as demanding as her big sister. But she was quite the opposite! We tried to feed on demand, but I had to wake her many times because she would just sleep right through her feeding times. I ended up having to pump when I really didn’t want to. It was also tough to know when she was hungry because she gave very little hunger cues.
Luckily, she fed well when she needed to and slept when she wanted. Plus, she gained weight better than any of my other babies in the process. Because she was so “easy”, I was able to pump when I needed to, to prepare for going back to work. I was also able to get the rest I needed. She allowed me to just go with the flow, too. Which was a much-needed break from the breastfeeding experience before. She’s now 7 years-old and is still my “go with the flow” kid. She doesn’t let anything bother her, and when I’m with her, I feed off her vibe!
Enjoy it while it lasts
My last breastfeeding experience was the most emotional. By this point, I had learned so much about breastfeeding and was more than prepared. My youngest son had no issues with feeding besides the fact that he wanted to nurse ALL THE TIME. That meant there was really no time to pump and stock up before I went back to work. I was making a little more than “enough” for him, and he was luckily growing and gaining normally. I struggled with finding the time to pump in between patients when I went back to work. And ended up doing a lot of pumping while I was rushing and stressed. I caught myself thinking about my patient schedule and my long to-do list while I was pumping and should’ve been focused on my baby.
I noticed drops in my supply whenever I was stressed and had to remind myself that this was likely my last breastfeeding experience. As much as I hated pumping, I would soon be getting rid of my pump bag for good. And even though I was exhausted by my son waking up at night to feed, I knew that we would soon wean, and I’d likely never breastfeed again.
Change your perspective
I knew I’d miss breastfeeding once I was done, so I needed to focus on it and enjoy it while it lasted. My perspective changed. Breastfeeding and pumping were once again a priority. I started scrolling through pictures of my son while pumping. I intentionally set aside time in my schedule and cleared my head so that I wasn’t worried about anything else while I pumped. And it may sound crazy, but I looked forward to nursing my son overnight because I knew it would end soon. We made it to 12 months, and he naturally weaned himself. He’s now 3 years old and is my right-hand man wherever I go.
It’s all worth it in the end
During your breastfeeding journey, you may face some challenges that don’t seem to have a “textbook” solution. These challenges may be personal in nature and specific to your situation. But know that there is always a positive side to every situation and lessons to be learned that you can carry with you into your next experiences. I hope my stories on overcoming personal breastfeeding experiences have helped you in some way!
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If you love these tips, be sure to check out my 75+ page digital library, filled with step-by-step instructions and the tools you need to learn the basics and adapt to life while breastfeeding, troubleshoot breastfeeding problems, go back to work while breastfeeding, wean – and so much more!
