I figured I needed to put this out there. I’ve been that mom. Doubting myself and offering my baby a bottle of formula because I didn’t think I was making enough. At times, struggling to maintain my supply. Thinking that so many other moms out there have it together when it comes to breastfeeding, while I’m still trying to figure it out! but, then I had to remind myself that breastfeeding is not a competition.
No one mom has this all figured out. I’ve seen moms start out with abundant breast milk supply, even to the point of donating breast milk – but ending up having to give formula by month 6. I’ve seen moms struggling to have their baby latch, and ending up with beaten-up nipples. But, I’ve also seen so many moms really succeed at this whole breastfeeding thing, once they just give it a good-hearted try and shut out all the “noise”. Once you realize that breastfeeding is not a competition, it can make your life a whole lot easier – and breastfeeding much more enjoyable. Don’t compare your breastfeeding journey.
All supply is not equal
I know you’ve probably seen photos circulating around the internet of freezers that are stocked full of breast milk. Don’t let jealousy creep in when you see this pictures if your freezer doesn’t look like this. I want to reassure you that this is not what’s necessary to keep your baby fed and healthy. As long as your baby is receiving the milk he needs, what’s in your freezer is not as important. I still recommend pumping while breastfeeding to try to build this stash for a rainy day. But don’t feel like you’re less of a breastfeeding or pumping mom if your freezer isn’t overflowing.
Also, don’t feel bad if you have to supplement with formula because of supply issues. You can use some of my tips for increasing supply, but remember that formula is the next best thing to breast milk. Don’t compare yourself to moms that brag about exclusively breastfeeding. Of course, it’s ideal if you can, but a fed baby is what’s most important!
All breast milk is not equal
Many breastfed babies are round and plump, with lots of rolls in their arms and thighs. But, many aren’t. If your baby is lean while breastfeeding, that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with your breast milk. I’ve breastfed 5 babies, and they all looked very different in their first few months! On average, breast milk contains 19-20 calories per ounce. But, some women have more or less than this amount. This number can also vary throughout your breastfeeding journey. Our babies also have different starting points and genetic make-ups. As long as your baby is gaining weight normally and your Pediatrician is not concerned, you shouldn’t be worried! You’re still feeding and growing that baby. You’re providing the nutrients and the immune system boosting “stuff” he needs to stay healthy! Don’t compare him to the baby next to him.
All breast sizes are not equal
Just because your breasts are smaller than the next mom’s doesn’t mean yours don’t work as well! Speaking from experience, smaller breasts can still produce enough to feed your baby and then some! The size of your breast doesn’t dictate the amount of milk ducts your have, nor the ability of your breasts to make milk. So, don’t doubt yourself. You’ve got this!
All support groups are not equal
I typically recommend visiting a lactation consultant or attending a breastfeeding support group if you’re having issues with breastfeeding. The consultant can help with any latching and feeding issues. The support group is usually filled with other moms who are struggling with breastfeeding, sleep, and taking care of themselves. These groups can be an awesome resource. But, if you go to one, make sure that you feel better – not worse – when you come home! Make the most of the group, and get something from it. Don’t sit back and compare yourself to other moms that may be having an easier time with breastfeeding than you are, or whose babies may be sleeping longer or gaining weight quicker than yours. You’re there for the support, not for bragging moms – so stay away from them and focus on why you’re really there.
Enjoy it while it lasts
I encourage you to enjoy this time with your little ones. Whether you’re breastfeeding for a few days, weeks, months, or years. Your time breastfeeding your baby is limited. It’s exhausting, I know, but so worth it in the long run. Breastfeeding should be an awesome time of bonding, not a time filled with doubt and comparing yourself and your journey to other moms. It’s not about who makes the most milk, who has the biggest freezer stash, whose baby latches the best, or whose baby gains the most weight. None of us have it all together. None of us have it all figured out. We’re all struggling in one way or the other, even if we put on a good front.
Don’t compare your breastfeeding journey to anyone else’s! There’s no trophy at the end for the “Best Breastfeeder”. The only prize is your happy, healthy baby, and the benefits you get from it too! Make breastfeeding a time filled with positive memories, not negative ones. I look back now and really miss the times I breastfed my little ones in the midst of all the chaos, and I want you to, too!
Do you have any advice to add for breastfeeding moms besides “don’t compare your breastfeeding journey”? I’d love to hear them. Just leave them in the comments below!
Looking for more help?
If you’re experiencing any breastfeeding issues – if you just want to make sure you’re doing things right – I’d be happy to help. Take a peek at the different types of breastfeeding consultations I offer, and request an appointment when you’re ready. I’m here for you and all your breastfeeding needs!
The post originally appeared on Wifey Mommy Doc, a blog focused on helping working wives and moms find balance in their many roles.
If you love these tips, be sure to check out my 75+ page digital library, filled with step-by-step instructions and the tools you need to learn the basics and adapt to life while breastfeeding, troubleshoot breastfeeding problems, go back to work while breastfeeding, wean – and so much more!
